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About Varied / Hobbyist Member KylaFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Beautiful literature author tag by :iconkawaii-anime-vamp911: ^^

Here you will be introduced to my...ah...rather eccentric characters, and multiple universes.
Also some fandoms.
I'm so sorry.

Random Favourites

Activity


*coughcough*

So. Hey.

I haven't been here in a while, huh? And a lot of things have changed - on dA as well, it seems.

Let's see - I was sick for a majority of December, and the start of January. I haven't gotten to volunteer for like, two months. I had an anxiety attack a few weeks ago, and a few down days. But things are looking up now.

I'm still without a computer of my own, but I've got news on that: My dad is working on one for me! So hopefully soon I can start uploading art and being WAY more active than I have been recently.

In the meantime though I've just been doodling and compiling ideas for things I want to do in the near future.

Ideas;;


1. YouTube
Yeah, this is a thing. I actually started one about seven months ago, with only about seven videos, but I want to do a lot more with it.
I plan on doing let's plays, vlogs and maybe some random stuff tossed in here and there. I plan on having an art-related series, too.
It might not be everybody's cup of tea, but thinking up all these ideas, and having so many of them, has actually been really inspiring and upped my confidence. YouTuve is mainly just for me - I'm doing it to have fun and be myself. And if you guys decide you want to see what I do, you're all more than welcome to join me. :)

2. Etsy Shop
I've had this idea for a while. But I'm planning on making a shop where I'll be selling art prints, beaded bookmarks and might even try making teas and jewelry.
I haven't got the right bank account for it, and I need to get the name and the supplies and everything, but it's something I intend to do in the near future.

Gimme Your Opinions;;


I value everyone's opinions, so if you have any ideas or thoughts, please, please, please let me know. :)
(Also, if anyone wants me to name a pet in MineCraft after them let me know)

Since I plan on doing a lot of online stuff, should I get a Twitter? I don't really feel like I need one, but what do you think?

What sort of themes do you think would fit bookmarks? I'm thinking of doing Disney themed ones so far.

----

Anyways, that's...basically it.

Otherwise, I'm going to be doing little things. I have some writing ideas, and LOTS of doodles I need to upload, so be prepared for that.

Thanks for reading! Love you all!

- Kyla
  • Mood: Excited
  • Eating: YOUR SOUL
  • Drinking: Water
Your hand fits in mine
Like it's made just for me.
But bear this in mind
It was meant to be.
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me.


I'm not entirely sure how to put this all in words, but I'm going to try.
The last time I stood on a scale it said I was 180 pounds. I had been trying for the previous two months to lose weight, and I had hoped that I had. Even three pounds would have been great. But the numbers blinked back at me.
180.

I admit that when it comes to exercising and eating right, I'm the worlds biggest procrastinator. I hate exercise. I love pizza and ice cream and soda. The thought of giving them up is nightmarish. And yet, the idea of becoming overweight, and possibly diabetic, scared me.
I had never loved my body very much. My stomach protrudes over my waistband, my thighs jiggle and they rub together when I walk, my upper arms are jiggly and I have stretch marks across my body. My face is round and sometimes it looks like I have a double chin.
My confidence was at zero. I was depressed, anxious, afraid and certain that I would live my days sitting on the Internet, wasting my life away.

I know you've never loved
The crinkles by your eyes
When you smile.
You've never loved
Your stomach or your thighs,
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine.
But I'll love them endlessly.


A few years ago I was told I had social anxiety. It's different for everyone, I think. For me, I'm a bit shy at first, but once I've warmed up and gotten to know someone, I'm actually a bit of a spazz. You'll see a girl with short, insanely curly hair who loves to write and draw, who loves unicorns and rainbows, who can be a little inappropriate at times but is still basically a sweetheart, who speaks without thinking and makes silly faces.
But actually being told about the anxiety, knowing what it was, and being put on a medication to help with it...it changed my perception of myself. I didn't want to be defined by my anxiety. I am a person, despite what might be considered my flaws.

You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
And maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep.
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me.


In 2013, we all decided to move out of state. My sister and I would take the bus while my mom and future step-dad would drive the moving truck.
The idea of going on a bus ride scared me to death. My anxiety had prevented me from doing various social things; even being by myself in a store still scared me. But I knew that it was something I had to do - not just so we could move, but for myself.
I imagined myself fighting to tame the dragon that was the bus. If I could step into that terrifying beast, if I could face that terrifying fear of falling to my death, so to speak, then I had won.
I remember taking deep breaths, fighting with the bats that fluttered in my stomach, trying to stay calm and composed and keep my battle strategy. And when I was facing that dragon, when the doors were open and waiting for me, I pushed through the wall of scales and fire and took my seat like any other person on that bus.
I had won. And it made something inside me shatter, like a prison of glass had exploded and let something loose.
But what?
In 2014, I began volunteering at a local store, and my anxiety has become something like a wisp of the storm cloud it once was. Sometimes it still holds me back. But I'm able to interact with people - I'm able to stay in the store without feeling afraid of being left behind. In the last year, I've only had one panic attack. And that's pretty huge for me.

I know you've never loved
The sound of your voice on tape.
You never want
To know how much you weigh.
You still have to squeeze into your jeans.
But you're perfect to me.


When people talk about loving themselves, there's usually a series of life changing events.
But for me, it was mainly the written word. Stories of people's self-discovery, their triumphs over society's expectations and supposed limitations, they fueled my inspiration. Soon I found myself discovering more and more about body positivity, about beating the odds, about loving yourself. The digital world of the Internet has broadened my horizons on various topics. Equality, self-loving, sexuality. I have learned so much from the giant web of information the Internet has provided.
I discovered my sexuality, a love for spreading the word on human rights - and I also discovered something else. A shimmer of confidence inside me I had never had before. I can look in the mirror today, and say "Dang, I'm cute" for the first time in my life.
Perhaps that sounds silly. But if you could see me now, see who I've become, who I will be...it's giant. It's bigger than the sky, and fills me with stardust.

You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you.
And you'll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to.
If I let you know I'm here for you.
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you, oh.


When people talk about loving themselves, there's usually a series of life changing events. My life changing events are clustered together, and they may not seem very big, but the impact they've left is huge.
My body isn't a temple. It's a fortress of glory and beauty. My stomach still protrudes, but I'm no longer as bothered by it. I touch it and feel the warmth, the life, that resides behind my lightning shaped stretch marks, and I tell it "I love you."
I am a creature of earth, storm, dragon fire and riptides. I have the power to unleash the fury of thunder, and I have the galaxy in my eyes. My worth isn't measured by the compliments I may receive, or by the insults that may be thrown at me.
My anxiety, my weight, my wavering self-confidence, doesn't define who I am. Or what I am capable of. I am beautiful. I am loving.
I am me.

And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
'Cause it's you,
Oh, it's you,
It's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you
And all these little things.
Little Things
This is a true story about me, my life, and my insecurities. It is fragile, and cracked, and more special than you could imagine.
These are my own words. Please don't steal them.

Song lyrics: Little Things by One Direction

---

Wrote this a while ago. Thought I'd upload it as proof I've been doing stuff. ^^;
Loading...
Preview: The Realm by Avalon-San
Preview: The Realm
SURPRISE!

I'm not dead. Just, uh...kind of been inactive on here. I haven't got any way of uploading my art, and I haven't been writing in a while.

But hey look! This is a new project I've started working on.
Remember PHASES? This is a completely rewritten/revamped/re-everything of that story. And I like this version way better already. I hope you guys do, too!
Loading...
Gods help me, I'm going to be 20. ._.

I DON'T EVEN FEEL 20. WHAT DOES IT MEAN.

THe house is really quiet. Everyone's wrapping gifts. I have a cake in the fridge. Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut (THANK THE GODS. It's driving me insane...) and spending time with my sister, so...yay! 8D

My sister will be moving out in a week or so. I'm not sure what to feel - I'm happy for her but sad at the same time. I'll miss her, but I know she needs this, and it's going to be really, really good for her.

But she's put off moving until after my birthday. She wanted to spend it with me, which I'm grateful for.

I honestly don't think I've had this much attention focused on my birthday in like...ten years. o.o IT'S SO WEIRD. What the heckle-deckles...

Anyways. Off to finish Game of Thrones with my sister. Just. Yeah. Wanted to update everyone!

Loves!

~ Kyla
  • Mood: Confused
  • Eating: YOUR SOUL
  • Drinking: Water

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Avalon-San's Profile Picture
Avalon-San
Kyla
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Age: 19
Occupation: Artist, writer, avid reader and professional procrastinator.

Just Some Random Quotes:

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." - Edgar Allen Poe

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin to Pooh

"You know that in nine hundred years of time and space and I've never met anybody who wasn't important before " - Doctor Who

"I like drawing new things, creating something special. Its magical to me. Art is an endless journey with infinite possibilities." - Me

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Comments


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:iconvervaineyes:
vervaineyes Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014
thanks for the fave!
Reply
:iconsamurai-akita:
Samurai-Akita Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I am so sorry, I somehow missed your birthday. So happy belated birthday and best wishes!
Reply
:iconavalon-san:
Avalon-San Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's alright! ^^ Thank you so much.
*HUGS*
Reply
:iconincorporatedshadows:
IncorporatedShadows Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Student Digital Artist
thanks for the fav! :)
Reply
:iconavalon-san:
Avalon-San Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :)
Reply
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